She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
