What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
