I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
