it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
