I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
