drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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