Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Apparently you make a good broom.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
