the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
as a side note pls kill me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
