I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
