I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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