I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
