ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
