He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
