I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
