ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
