I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
