i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
