I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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