how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
