You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
