So drunk its hurt
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
