So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
