ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
