im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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