i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
