Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
