Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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