goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
