If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
