from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
