Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
