I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
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