On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
