how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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