Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
