this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I supernannyed him into submission
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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