dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
