when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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