She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
