I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
