I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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