Can Purell be used as lube?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
