His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
