ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
