just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
