talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
