if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
