Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
