This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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