last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
