Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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