Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
