Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
